(Anthony) My voice
sounds all weird in a fan. (Ian) SHUT UP!!! (buzzing) (Ian) Argh! Why’d they make this game so hard? (buzzing) What the hell? It can’t be here, dude.
I have a girl coming over. Okay? Get outta here. You spend your entire life
inside your room. How the hell did you meet a girl? Found her online. Hoo-hoo-hoo! What? Dude, did you use one of those dating apps? Mmm, not exactly. Wait, what do you mean, “Not exactly”? Look, dude, I don’t want you
to freak out or anything, okay, but she’s a fan. – What?!
– I know. – Dude, that’s the worst idea ever.
– I know, I know. You realize that a lot of fans
are crazy psychopaths that just want to cut
off your skin and wear them and dance around
to creepy children’s music, right? This one is different!
Trust me. – (doorbell rings)
– You’ll see. I’m sorry, what the f*ck is this? So…she’s cute, right? Dude, have you lost your fricking mind? That’s not even a real person. Dude, I don’t go around
calling all your girls fake! You know how hard it’s been
for me to get a girl lately. Come on, you just– just give her a chance. (sighs) All right. So what do you even see in “her”? For starters, she’s really romantic. (laughing) Make a wish, princess! (gags, coughs) (laughing) And she loves surprises. Happy one-week anniversary, babe. Here comes the Mexican airplane! (buzzing noises) (giggling) So how exactly do you guys…you know… You’re sure you wanna do this, right? Okay. (steamy music) (screaming in pain) We decided to go celibate. Have you guys even thought
about a future together? I mean, fans are fickle as hell. One day they love you,
and the next day they’re leavin’ your ass for somebody hotter. (French music) Did you seriously just look at another man? I’m sitting right here! Oh, oh, great! Now I have to worry
about you looking at women, too? Heh! Well, two can play
this game, sweetheart. (lusty noises) You see? You see how much that hurts? I can have any fan in this room,
and don’t you forget it. (lusty noises) Sir, the fan is only 14 years old. Ugh! Heaven forbid you ever get her pregnant. You’ll be trapped forever. I don’t care if the kids
see us fighting, Fantasia! At least they finally know the truth. You never loved me!
This is a house of lies! Oh, no! Stay with me!
Stay with me! Stay with me! Somebody help! Somebody help! Come baaaaaaaaaack! (sighs) All right, fine, you’re right.
I have to end this. (exhales) I’m sorry, this
just isn’t working out, baby. (heavy metal music) (sobbing) – (doorbell rings)
– I’ll get it. Hey, Ian, your ex is at the door. Dude, don’t tell you
started seeing your ex again! It’s even worse than dating a fan. You know you could never trust an ex. Oh, the heart wants what it wa-a-a-nts. (lusty noises) Wanna come inside, baby? Yeah, I think so. (screams) What just happened? She broke up with me. (canned laughter and applause) (Ian) Hey, guys, thank you
so much for watching. If you haven’t yet subscribed,
subscribe to– (voice come distorted) – (dramatic music)
– (lowing) (camera snaps) (intense music) SOMETHING NEW IS COMING TO YOUTUBE.COM/SMOSH (Ian) Hey, guys, thank you
so much for watching. If you haven’t yet subscribed
and you’re still alive, unlike my ex, why don’t you click that subscribe button? (Anthony) If you wanna
see bloopers and this… (shrieking in pain) …click the video on the left. And if you want to see us
do the accent challenge and completely fail,
click the video on the right. (shrill voice) Mary had a little lamb. (giggling) – Mario!
– (laughter, buzzer)